do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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