i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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