Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
