how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
