remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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