i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
