im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
