hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
