K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
