i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
