Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
smell my finger.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
