U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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