And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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