So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sorry about my life...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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