oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
