Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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