why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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