it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
