Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
