Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The Olympian is in my bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
