I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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