that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
