Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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