i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
