You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Success! We fucked roommates!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
