positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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