We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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