I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
