we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
