Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
