If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
