check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
