so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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