I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
