i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
