Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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