Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
