its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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