I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
