it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
