so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
