I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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