you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
