I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
