You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
