But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
