Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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