i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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