i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
