My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He shit in the fireplace
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize