She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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