How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
