Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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