so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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