dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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