You just made me feel so damn special
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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