Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
