New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
