i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
