I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
is it fun? or sober?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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