i think i have two assholes
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
